Crazy Lady

I went out to breakfast on Saturday at my favorite place, the Slate Street Cafe. I was by myself, and was trying to get some reading done.

There was a couple sitting near me, and they looked really normal when they walked in. They sat down, ordered breakfast, and the woman proceeded to read the paper. It went something like this:

[She picks up the paper.]

Her: Oh no.
Him: [nothing]
Her: Oh that's terrible.
Him: [nothing]
Her: Oh how sad.
Him: [nothing]
Her: A 28 year old woman DIED.
Him: [nothing]
Her: So sad.
Him: [nothing]
Her: [Basically reads him the entire story.]
Him: [nothing]

[Pause. She turns the page.]

Her: Oh my.
Him: [nothing]
Her: I can't believe it!
Him: [nothing]
Her: A bald eagle!
Him: [nothing]
Her: In the nation's capital!
Him: [nothing]
Her: Killed near the beltway!
Him: [nothing]
Her: [Basically reads him the entire story.]

[Pause. She turns the page.]

So this goes on and on, every single page of the paper, and she gets louder and louder and louder with each passing page.
He ignores her, doodling on the back of an envelope.

When she finishes reading the paper (to all of us), she says to her partner,

Her: Do you want to read the paper?
Him: Um, no thanks.