iiiiinteresting....

So, I came across this in this online diet group thingy I'm doing:

Finish the following statements however you'd like.

I am...
I will...
I won't...
I do...
I don't...
I love...
I hate...
I think...
I care...
I don't care...
I can...
I can't...
I feel...
I laugh...
I cry...
I want...
I need...
I'm passionate about...

And here were my answers:
I am... going to law school!
I will... get back on the wagon starting NOW!
I won't... get any time to myself this weekend.
I do... really like the way I feel when I work out regularly.
I don't... like my job or my boss.
I love... feeling strong and capable- physically, professionally, emotionally.
I hate... being a bum and wasting time.
I think... too much.
I care... about respect- giving it and getting it.
I don't care...
I can... do whatever I set my mind to!
I can't... seem to stay focused on one thing for a long time.
I feel... energized when I take good care of myself, which spills over in to all areas of my life
I laugh... frequently at myself.
I cry... frequently these days- change and stress bring that out.
I want... to know when I will loose my job so I can start planning my move.
I need... to have a better picture of what the next 4 months will look like.
I'm passionate about... a lot of things. Taking care of myself, knitting, and being a good person.


I feel like I just learned a lot about myself. I'm really bogged down in details right now on a lot of fronts, unable to see the forest for the trees. I don't like feeling that way!

At work, I'm stuck in really boring detailed editing work. It's all nitpicks stuff that my boss has changed her mind on 5 times. Which is frustrating, when it involves changing 400 pages of documentation for stupid little changes.

In my personal world, I have no details about timing for the major events in the next 4 months, so I'm feeling really uneasy. I don't know when I'm going to lose my job, so I can't give notice on my apartment, sell all my stuff, plan on starting work for my Mom in NM, plan going away parties with my friends... I want to have a "game plan" so I can kind of picture how the coming months will look, but I have none of that right now. I could leave here in May, it could be August. Hard to start saying goodbye when it could be 3 months, yet it's hard to ignore when it could be 3 weeks.

I'm also feeling very selfish with my time. I can look at the next 10 days and see that I will have very little time to myself. Which makes me cranky. It's all stuff I want to do... But... tomorrow I have to work. Probably all day. Then I have to take care of the BF's dogs. Sunday I have church, a baby shower, and a dinner party at a dear friend's house. Monday night I will walk with a girlfriend. Wednesday night I'm taking BF's sister to see the bats. Thursday night is dinner with a girlfriend followed by Stitch N Bitch. Friday night is likely dinner and a movie, Saturday will probably go to the BF's parents' house for Mother's Day. And so on and so forth.... When can I spend some time reading? Or knitting? Or cooking? Or cleaning, working out, relaxing, reflecting??? I get frustrated when I feel like my time is being spent for me, which is precisely how I feel right now, especially since my job is sucking my soul out. :-) Yes, I'm a little on the dramatic side!